Ut Exsisto Humanus
by Crazy Lady Knight
Summary: I am human. I am entitled to all weaknesses that grasp human nature, all the errors and flaws in mind and body that make us homo sapiens.
1. Prologue

My name is Robin. This alternative identity that has sprung from the ashes of Richard Grayson's soul, is more than an alias. It is a symbol of hope for the people of Jump City; for all people in need of a symbol of justice.

Yet, all heroes can be brought to their knees. When faced with a weakness that not even they know until it has already consumed them. Yes, even I, the former leader of the Titans, has a weakness; one so obvious that it was always pushed aside, forgotten, due to my amazing abilities and strengths. I am human. I am entitled to all weaknesses that grasp human nature, all the errors and flaws in mind and body that make us homo sapiens. "Wise man", fitting. _Humans are weak. _I have fought through the limits of human nature pushed forward contorting and transforming my body into the perfect weapon to defend Justice.

In the years I have put my life on the line for justice I have never been called weak, frail, or fragile. Yet, now those three words summarize everything I am. As a lay here, paralyzed by my own exhaustion, I can only reflect on the true meaning of being human.

To be human means to take your life in your own hands, to mold and shape your own future by the mistakes of your past. I have made many mistakes over my life time,some have cost innocent lives. This fact alone haunts me every day. Yet, though my emotional pain and turmoil one soul has stood beside me supporting me when the pain becomes unbearable and refusing to give up hope despite my own lack of faith. My Fiancé. _Starfire_

The doorknob turned releasing the mechanism that kept the door in place with a noise the echoed through the silent hospital room. Through the door stepped Victor, one of my best friends. If Starfire was my pillar of strength he was my pillar of knowledge. He forced me to have hope by giving me more than false promises. He showed me the unfiltered truth a blessing in the days of lies I was forced to live though.

He approached the bed in which I laid motionless.

"Hey. . . . ." a look of uncertainty passed over his face "How do ya feel?"

I adjusted my head and looked him in his real eye before looking away and muttering a couple of curse words

He gave a light chuckle, a sound which brought the beginning of a smile to my own face.

"yeah, chemo will do that to ya"

I jerked my head back to look at him "chemo?"

He broke eye contact and stared down at the floor, glancing back up at my face at random intervals but refusing to make eye contact"Dick . . . . . They didn't get it all, they couldn't." he sighed "If they removed anymore you . . . . . We . .. . . . . Starfire wouldn't be getting married."

I looked at him trying to make eye contact but his eye refused to look up from his feet "she still might not"

His eyes widened for half a second before putting his calm face on again "You'll pull through this . . . . . You have to"

I looked away and painfully shifted my aching body until my back was towards him. I refused to respond. I didn't want to give them false hope

My name is Robin, and I am slowly dying of cancer

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Like it? Hate it? Please review. Ideas are welcome as well, I have a idea for this fic but any new plot twists are welcome

I will continue to write if I receive enough feedback!!

Otherwise I put this as a oneshot and call it finished

- Crazy Lady Knight


	2. 1st Symptom

_Perhaps I should start when this whole mess began: I have the time. I am slowly wasting away as the people around me continue with their lives. Maybe I can see what went wrong:_

_I believe that the first symptom emerged several days after I proposed to Starfire. Yes, I think that's when my life and body started to change. . . . . . . . . _

I had woken up that morning feeling extremely happy, why shouldn't I? Starfire and I were getting married! By the time I entered the common room the sun was just starting to peak above the horizon, turning the sky a pinkish hue. A sign of a new day. I took a glance at the front cover of the newspaper that I had picked up and blanched at the front cover. The main title was bolded to a point where a single glance caused instant interest:

**"SLADE ESCAPES FROM PRISON"**

Deadly Mastermind Escapes from Arkham"

I spent four years of my life trying to predict his every move, attempting anything and everything to capture the man. Finally after a brilliant plan hatched from the a basic idea of Beast Boy's. Slade was taken down and placed in maximum security in Arkham. I knew from the beginning that his containment would not last forever. Yet, I thought that I could live at least six months knowing that the man that had terrorized my life, was locked up. Two months was all it took, two freakin months in high security was all the punishment he received for all the murders he had committed.

I sat down on the nearest surface, which happened to be a breakfast stool. My legs felt weak with shock and my heavy heart pounded in my chest. I kept staring at the piece of paper in my hand re-reading it until my eyes focused on the picture they had provided. It must have been the most menacing one they had. His one eye focused so intently on the camera. I felt shivers run down my spine.

I must have sat there, lost in memory, for at least a half hour staring at the mind shattering words until the whoosh of the doors opening stirred me out of my horrified contemplation.

Starfire walked though the doors. One look at my still horrified face and she flew over only to become speechless as the title of the newspaper. After several moments of standing in silence, she wrapped her arms around my neck and whispered in my ear.

"Oh Richard" So many emotions condensed in those two words. I can only imagine what she must have been thinking at the time. She must have known that I would refocus all my energies myself on re-capturing Slade and away from her.

As my mind kept spinning, the reality of Slade's escape hit me like a brick and with that smack came a searing pain through my head. Pain unlike anything I can remember experiencing. A gasp escaped my lips at the unexpected agony.

"Richard?"

I blinked rapidly trying to alleviate the pain. Then as quickly as it had come the pain had vanished. Leaving my entire body shaking with the suddenness of the agonizing episode.

"**Richard??"**

"I . . . . " I took a deep breath of air, and attempted to relax my body. "I'm fine Star"

The worried look on her face faded to a sad smile; "is there anything I can do to help?' her face already proved that she knew the answer

"I'm sorry. . . . I need some time alone"

She nodded her head sadly "I will give you as much time as you desire"

I shot her a weak smile "Thanks, sweetheart" She gave me light kiss on the check and departed the room, most likely headed for the roof.

My body slowly recovered from the pain. My arms and knees stopped shaking after about 5 minutes and my head started to feel clearer. I hadn't even noticed how fuzzy it had become. I grabbed the coffee pot from the coffee maker and poured myself a cup. The refreshing smell started to soothe my jittery senses. I slowly headed to my office, dismissing the attack as a combination of stress and lack of sleep.

The day continued as normally as the day Slade breaks out of prison could. There were no alerts. It seems like every criminal in the area knew that today was not a day to plan a heist. I had locked myself in my office again re-reading the same article over and over. After finding nothing hidden within the words I moved on to the different articles I had kept over the years as evidence. I needed to reacquaint myself with all of the information I had on the insane man after my two month leave.

I believe I stayed locked up in my office for several hours before I was aware of the time. Starfire was the one who knocked me out of my workaholic state. She came to the door and politely knocked, as if scared that I would scream at her to leave. I did once... but never again.

I welcomed the distraction for once. I needed to get my mind off Slade for a little while, in fact the last time that I had worked that tediously was before Slade was captured.

I opened the door and smiled at her hesitant face.

"Hey Star"

"Hello Richard, I was wondering . . . . . .. . . . . . . .Will you watch a movie with me?"

I pretended to think it over, already knowing that the break would do me good. It was also near impossible to resist that face of her's.

" I don't know Kori, I. . . . . ."

"Please Richard" at that innocent little request, I visibly folded;

A gave her a small smile "Alright"

The smile she gave me in return lit up her entire face, showing me how grateful she was for the attention

I wrapped my right arm around her waste as we headed towards the main room. She leaned into the touch, resting her head on my shoulder.

We settled in on the couch together, cuddling. I believe I must have dozed off soon after as I don't remember what the title of the movie was.

Slowly I was pulled back into awareness. I felt something brush my cheek. I scrunched my face away from it and started to fall back into sleep. I heard soft laughter in response and a more firm touch on my face. I slowly opened my eyes and then shut them immediately at the blinding light. I flung my left arm over my face blocking out the light so I could sleep without the disturbance. I slowly relaxed again slowly falling back asleep. Something nudged my shoulder.

"Richard, it's time to wake up"

I didn't respond, I just snuggled up to the warmth by my head.

She shook me a little harder I refused to be pulled out of my peaceful state of sleep

"Richard, please wake up, the movie is over and the pizza Beast Boy ordered has arrived'

At the sound of her voice I slowly roused myself, acknowledging that I was not going to be able to fall back asleep right then.

I blinked my eyes and looked up at her and her face swam into focus. Her smile was worth waking up for.

"Richard, you are so adorable when you sleep"

I snorted at that and slowly pushed myself back up into a sitting position. My head suddenly felt like it was going to explode with pressure and pain. It felt like my brain was growing ten times it's normal size and was pushing on my skull with tremendous force all around.

'Richard, come on wake up"

The pain seemed to immobilize my entire body refusing to let me move a single muscle. Jolts of agony ran from my skull to my toes and seemed to last an eternity.

Just as quickly as it began it once again stopped. I looked at Star who had a look of confusion on her face

"are you alright?"

"yeah, sorry, I just got a bit dizzy there for a second. It's nothing really"

Sure I had felt the same symptoms twice in one day, but I was convinced it was just due to the stress and maybe even lack of hydration.

Oh how very wrong I was . . . . . . . .


End file.
